Hey, Walking Dead fans! Did you watch last night's episode featuring your fave red-head soldier, G.I. Ginger? (As we found out, the curtains DO match the drapes!) Join me after the jump for some spoiler-heavy recap action, AND your incisive comments in the comments! LET'S START CHITTY-CHATTING!

MORE FUN AFTER THE JUMP!

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Self Help."

1) The episode starts with G.I. Ginger's splinter group (including Glenn, Maggie, Tara, and Sgt. McSexy) giving Fat Elvis the Scientist a ride to Washington. They barely make it to "87 bottles of beer on the wall" when BLAM! the bus' engine explodes, the vehicle does a classic Hollywood flip, and nom nom nom the zombies are ready for some good eatin'! Unsurprisingly no one is hurt in this massive crash (weird, huh?), and G.I. Ginger's commandoes... including Fat Elvis the Scientist fight off the walkers. As usual, GInger has a marijuana freakout and insists the gang keeps moving on down the road.

2) Did I mention there was a flashback where Ginger beats some people to death with a can of beans, and his family is scared shitless of him? There's that.

3) The gang camps out in a book store (LOOK, THEY STILL HAVE BOOK STORES AFTER THE APOCALYPSE! FUCK YOU, AMAZON.COM!), and G.I. Ginger treats his injured hand with some noisy sex with Sgt. McSexy. (It should be noted here that hot women often date ugly men... whether it's pre- or post-apocalypse. And thank god for that.) Tara catches Fat Elvis the Scientist peeping at them, and he admits that he's the one who sabotaged the bus! She doesn't seem very upset by this very important info, and even gives him a pep talk, promising not to tell the others. TERRIBLE IDEA, TARA. (That's her new name from now on, btw, "Terrible Idea Tara.")

4) G.I. Ginger finds a fire engine blocking a door, moves it, and accidentally unleashes a horde of zombies who are hilariously taken out by Fat Elvis the Scientist using a fire hose. Because zombies HATE water! And here we've been squashing their skulls the entire time. Fancy that!

5) After getting the fire truck up and running, the gang is on their way again... until they smell something really terrible (not themselves) and it turns out to be, like, a billion zombies blocking the road ahead. G.I. Ginger insists they simply ram the throng, and everybody else (even Terrible Idea Tara) agrees that's a terrible idea. Cue pushing and shoving match, and that's when Fat Elvis the Scientist drops the bomb: "I'm fat... I'm Elvis... but (sob) I'M NOT A SCIENTIST!" Yeah, Fat Elvis, everybody who's been watching the show has kinda known that from the beginning.

6) Apparently the reason Fat Elvis has been able to survive is thanks to his superpower which is "lying," and G.I. Ginger... who was ready to blow his brains out when he met him... was ready to believe anything. Okay, well, so much for their road trip to Washington! (And they really wanted to see the Air and Space Museum!!)

7) Okay, so what did you think about that? Other than the sex scene with Sgt. McSexy, I thought that one was a reaaaaal snooooozer. (Mostly because I had Fat Elvis figured out the first time he opened his fat mouth.) However! Next week's episode features the adorably named Daryl and Carol—so things have a good chance of perking back up! See you then, and don't forget to LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS (and sexy GIFs of Sgt. McSexy) IN THE COMMENTS!