DEAR GOD, YOU GUYS: They rolled up PDX Carpet*, put fake eyeballs on it, and made it Grand Marshal of the Starlight Parade!

That's a real thing that happened today and you know now for sure that you live in the dorkiest city of all the land.

pdx-carpet-grand-marshal-a-03202015.jpg
  • koin.com

If you step back and just think objectively about what is happening here, it's marvelously bizarre. I feel like it's crossed a threshold. Also, we need more puppetry in civic life. Or do we?

*It's PDX Carpet now, BTW, like a proper name. Not "the carpet."