OoooOOOOoooooHHH! Hellooooo everybodyyy! Kevin, the Portland Mercury Street Team Ghost, here to tell you about alllll the WONDERFUL things you can read in this week's issuuuuuuuue! OoooOOOooohh!
• Are You Confuuuused by Public Art? Meeeee, TOOOOOOO! However, our very own JOE STRECKERT takes a GHOOOULISHLY fun look at Portland's many public art pieces, AND gets various critics to CRITIQUE them! Ohhhhh! Hope they're not toooo meaaaan! (JK! It's a verrrrry ENTERTAINING storyyyy ooooOOOOOooooohhh!)
• Do Yoooou Like Soccer? Meeeee, TOOOOOOO! I used to play the sport—WHEN I WAS ALIIIIIVE ooooOOOOOooooohhh! Anyway, the Mercury's AAAABE AAAASHER has an article in this issue about last Sunday's stunning victory for the PORTLAND TIMMMMBERRRS oooOOOooo. They won a CUP or something! Youuuu should read this! You like sports! Sports... are... FUNNN!! oooOOOoooooohhh!!
