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HI. I'm Francine Colman-Gutierrez. You are wrong about the following things:

Eggnog: You're wrong. It's gross.

Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" is the best holiday song:
Wrong. It's "Jingle Bell Rock" as sung by the cast of Mean Girls.

Hipster Santa: I'll allow it. (Why should Santa have to conform to your outdated stereotypes?)

Christmas cards: Wrong. No one wants to open their mailbox and see your face.

Ugly Sweaters: You were wrong then, you are wrong now.

"Jack Frost Nipping at Your Nose":
Jack Frost better get the fuck away from my nose.

Spending time with family during the holidays: In what universe is this not a wrong idea?

Chanukah: Wrong. It's spelled "Hanukkah," old-timer.

Advent calendars: Please. You don't even know what an "advent" is.

SHE'S NOT CLOSE TO STOPPING. READ MORE HERE>>>