@1, 2 -- you'd be Fun to stiff.

Are you currently working in the
Customer Service/Hospitality
industry, somewhere local?

Or, perhps your an Educator* in said Biz?
If not, you've obviously Missed your Calling.

*other than a little pro bono freelancing
right here?

Speaking of surly bartenders

here's Tommy Lee Jones and Robert Duvall
on the subject. I do not believe they left a tip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LANMHFlrD5g

Arrested, El Zamboni?

Oh, pardon me, I forgot to mention -- this technique should only be used by (current) Members of the .01 Percenters Club, or by Law Enforcement (them [cow-] boys at the bar was Texas RANGERS, btw) (horse & cattle thieves, too, but they stole them back from a guy in olde Mexico, so it's all good/okay).

However, feel Free to use my name anywhere, El.
You'll likely be flabbergasted at the service you'll receive.

I'm a server with a sunny disposition, but my co-workers all joke that they make more tips because they're cold and grouchy to their customers. And it's true. Being cheerful leads to the customers thinking you actually like them, and in the case of sad goober men, that you LIKE them (ewww) and, hence, there is no need to win you over or tip you. They're doing you a favor by brightening your day.

Customers, sadly, feel the need to be liked, and the tip is one way they hope to be the person who breaks through the server's icy indifference. If you're a bartender, even worse: a lot of alcoholics like to yelled at and bossed around. You won't get that tip unless you remind them of their abusive parents.

So True, Ovidius.

I once worked one night a week for the Little Nickle selling ads. The one night i Kicked ASS was the nite I came in pissed off over ... whatever. I treated those poor people I was cold-calling -- we took our leads from people selling shit in the local paper -- I treated them like used TP.

My sales were through the roof!
But it was not Worth it.

I guess I'm just a shitty Capitalist.
Sad.