Before i finish reading this wonderful article, i just had to emphasize this one statement:


"I'm happy with the idea of a life that doesn't involve me ever having children."


What a wonderful, smart, bold, and conscientiously unselfish position to take. My hat's off to her! I can only imagine the hatefulness this poor woman puts up with from pious, holier-than-thou breeders who take demented pride in ruining OUR planet and inflicting misery upon everyone else.

Ok, i will finish the article now.

"...I like to have sex. My biological human urge is to have sex, the baby is a byproduct of that." WRONG. Biologically, sex is to make babies. The urge and the liking is a byproduct of THAT. Duh!


You're absolutely WRONG. The residual desire for children (for some humans) is indeed a by-product of wanting sex. But i'm guessing you're one of those "pro-life" christians b/c only THEY would take a position such as yours.

It may be fun to be childless when you are young. But most older people with no children are lonely and full of regrets. It's a tradeoff.

@ Haku

Pretty much everyone is lonely and full of regrets when they get old. Hell, some of us are only in our 30's and already feel that way.

Erm, by "some of us", I mean other people. You know, ones that aren't me?

Really.

>.>

Haku has NO data to back that up, he's/she's just making up shit out of thin air. Fact is, people in general tend to be more lonely and regretful as they get older. Whether or not someone breeds has zero bearing on this.



And THIS statement right here sums it up quite well:

"My DNA isn't so important that I need to replicate myself. It would just be selfish," says Bunting. "I don't care how many cloth diapers you use or how many Priuses you buy, having a kid is still a huge, huge carbon footprint."

i wish the world government would drop a chemical from the stratosphere that would sterilize a generation of the population. this would ease so much strife and pollution. eventually we could get back to makin' bacon but why not take a break for awhile?

I got a tubal ligation at 21, in the Deep South,way back in 1981. I just kept harping on the family history of insanity till they folded.

I think Haku is right about perhaps regretting the choice to not have kids later.
I mean, I've seen it. And I try to be a good son to my own mom who is getting old now - visits, phone-calls, etc. I would assume those that asked for 'proof' of this are trying to be nice to your aging parents as well. There is your proof.
Of course, there are no promises, right? Maybe yer kids will hate you.
But as my wife and I made the choice not to have kids, my own personal fear is that she will outlive me by a long shot, and without kids nor immediate family here, who will look after her when I have gone? As I have seen her and her mother look after her grandmother?
I don't know that I can even agree on this polution or over-population argument either.
I think having kids after the horrors of WW2 must have been a scarier place to bring kids into the world from.
The world still has problems, but just maybe this is about the best circumstances possible to bring a kid into the world.

@ overpopulated? Didn't you mean to post this on Oregonlive? That is some nasty ass shit coming out of your asshole (mouth).

"Well, many of you smart people need to take a look at the first five minutes of Idiocracy.

The Hispanics and Muslims will be putting out a ton of kids, and in two or three generations we'll see a radical change in society.

Already taking place in Italy and France.




And just how do you equate those first five minutes in Idiocracy with a [supposed] population increase of Latinos and Muslims? And curious as to why you would choose to focus on these two specific groups. Racist xenophobe, much?

Are you REALLY all that concerned with what happens in Italy or France?

It's clear that some people, gen X or Y or whatever-afters, feel like they're "put down" for not wanting children.

But the reality is that US population growth is slowing. And maybe it's because I didn't grow up in a small town or 50 years ago (I'm 35)-- but having kids was never an expected or normal thing. People I know generally think of it as a serious, life-changing decision fraught with responsibility, and focus on someone other than yourself. At the same time, having a lot of kids (>2 or 3) was considered distinctly weird among my friends.

I think we all want quality (well-supported+fed+educated, diverse, conscious/informed) over quantity (>replacement value) reproduction and child-rearing.

It's 2011, you're educated, in the US. There are vast options for birth control readily available for you, including highly effective and (gasp) reversible ones. This reality makes the tone of persecution embodied in the article and by some commentedrs seem pretty out-of-touch, in the big picture.

"Of course, I fully respect anyone's decision to not have kids. But, I won't lie: as a parent and erstwhile babyphobe, I can't help but wonder if people realize how much fun they're missing."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Well that's certainly YOUR opinion, though many child-less folks would dispute that. Many, in fact, would argue that YOU don't know how much fun YOU'RE missing by being tethered to a kid and having been stuck with the whole "family" thing 'n all.


"Oh c'mon, having kids is selfish? What kind of a moron thinks that? Ever sat up all night with a coughing kid? Taught them how to read? Changed a diaper? Or comforted them when your partner or spouse got ill for weeks and couldn't attend to their needs, all the while you're maintaining a job, as well? It's fine to snip your zip or tie your tubes, but don't feed me that bullshit that it's a selfless act! Nobody who has not had a kid can even begin to understand what it's like to be a parent, to be both morally and responsible for years on end for another human being (or more!) Look, you don't want a kid because you don't want the responsibility. That's fine -- there's probably too many folks who had kids who ditched them, so I accept that. But to claim you're choosing sterility for anyone but yourself is just a load of pretentious shit, and one of the reasons why childless people always come off as such idiotic self absorbed whine-asses to people who do have kids. If you adopt a kid after choosing to have none of your own, then you are spared this tirade and you really are a blessing to the rest of us. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and go get me some damn formula! "

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This rambling diatribe right here well sums up exactly the sort of holier-than-thou bigoted shitty attitude that people get once they become parents; they all of a sudden think they know it all and that they're better than everyone else. Here's a news flash: breeding/replicating is neither heroic nor miraculous. Big deal, you've demonstrated that you're capable of doing something EVERY other living organism on Earth can do. And you deserve special treatment WHY, exactly?

If you people love children soo much, why not ADOPT the ones that are ALREADY HERE?! What's that? You don't wanna adopt; you want your OWN baby?

I challenge anyone to explain to me how THAT is not selfish.

You know Jake, despite a parent's BEST efforts, some kids will inevitably grow up to be serial killers, gang bangers, dictators, and bank CEO's. Perhaps Adolth Hitler's parents would've done well to have practiced birth control and just stuck to German shepherds while building upon their own educations. Have you not taken that into consideration?

If I decide I want kids, I'll have them. If I decide I don't, I won't. It doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks or feels: it's a personal choice. Until we elect a dictator that restricts my personal liberties or we have a national eugenics program, no one elses opinion (save that of my partner and other interested parties) matters.

DamosA, do the world a favor an never procreate. In fact, if you think the world is way too over-populated, I for one would like to see you lead by example and go jump off a bridge.

"I'm a parent and I don't have that "holier-than-thou bigoted shitty attitude." Neither do most of the other parents I know."



Oh well, HIP HIP HOORAY FOR YOOOUUU! I suppose you think that you're better than everyone else on Earth, huh?

My husband and I decided we didn't want to have kids. We've been together 10 years and I think when we turned 40 we FINALLY convinced people that we were serious.

What pisses me off though is that people (including people we're related to!) often say things like, "well if you had family blah blah blah... " or "for people with families this is blah blah blah..." I DO have a family. Not having children does not make my home less of a family, nor does it make any of my other relationships less of a family.

Walpurgis - you say you write from the angle of living in the South, and that people should come there - presumably to experience it, and gain insight. And that "As far as I can tell, unless you live in a fairly liberal city, the rest of our country has the same attitude."

This is inherently contradictory. And-- no thank you (on the "you should come here" part).

To each their own, but AGAIN- the tone of persecution in the article and by some commenters is silly. If the subjects are complaining about lacking health insurance (including contraceptive coverage), I understand. But you don't deserve a merit badge for getting a vasectomy.

Spoolo, i grew up in the dirty, filthy, rotten South. So i can totally back up Walpurgis's words. Yeah, folks tend to be all big on the whole "traditional family" thing down there. Good, strong christian families.

So it's no wonder why the largest divorce rates, domestic violence, and child abuse tend to be in Southern states. Many of you have only grown up here in OR, or CA, or otherwise might never have been to the South. I GREW UP there, so every awful thing you hear is TRUE!

And noone deserves a merit badge for getting a vasectomy. But at the same time, noone should receive a $1000+ tax incentive bonus from the govt. simply for having kids.

I ran into the same issues while trying to get my tubes tied. After many failed attempts, I FINALLY got it done this year and I've never been happier! The tone many doctors gave me was a shaming one, as if I possibly couldn't go through life without having a brat. Guess what? I cannot wait to tell the next person I date "we can't have kids"! I'm living my life for ME.

Dumb christian doctors - they should lose their fucking license for that! Any GP who would give women a hard time or lay some fucked up guilt-trip on them for wanting to get their tubes tied - they're almost as rotten as christian pharmacists who refuse to do their damned job and dispense birth control.

Well i wouldn't put too much stock in our so-called "founding fathers".

I don't think having kids is necessarily selfish but I don't think it's selfless either. People who have kids have them b/c they WANT them. Sure they take care of them when they're sick, spend countless hours helping them learn and grow as people(hopefully) spend heaps of money on them but that's what you're supposed to do! Why should I applaud someone who takes responsibility for something they chose to do?? I applaud people who truly try to make the world a better place, like doctors who perform services free to the poor or lawyers who defend death row inmates for little to no pay. or anyone who volunteers their time to a worthy cause(as I myself do) but having children doesn't make you instantly selfless or a better person. and deciding to not have kids doesn't make you selfish.

"This article is retarded. My husband walked into a urologists clinic in Hillsboro and scheduled a vascetomy within a week. He was 20 years old at the time. That was 6 years ago. We paid, cash out of pocket, with no problems at all. No big fuss, no evaluations, no big deal."



So what makes you think this article is "retarded" just b/c your husband had an easy time setting up an appointment? You think it's that easy for everyone? YOU'RE retarded!

"People who have kids have them b/c they WANT them."

Most people have kids because they accidentally get pregnant, then spend years trying to convince themselves that having a child is really what they wanted all along.

You're totally right. The awkward truth is, MOST of us quite literally fuck-ups from the moment we were conceived. From that very moment on, we and our parents spend a lifetime trying to justify our own existence.

"why get all hot-headed about adults making adult decisions?"


You should ask Right-to-Life, the catholic church, the Family Research Council, the Republitard party, and the rest of these christians that. THEY'RE the ones who're always up every body's ass.

Posted on facebook. Essential reading!

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/i-real…

Cindy, maybe your friend "flew off the handle" b/c she had finally gotten fed up with being repeatedly ostricsied by oppressive breeders due to her personal choice to not self-replicate. Have you not considered that?

"What did we learn here today? That sticking your nose in anyone's business tends to piss them off? That people should feel free to make their own choices without being called "barren" or "breeder," "unnatural" or "natural"? No, what we learned is that when push comes to love, and the rubber stops the load, DamosA will always find some way to make it about how he wishes everyone would just agree life is miserable, especially for him, and how he really, really needs to go bowling or to a seedy nightclub where he can finally have some fun in his life!"


So basically, you just want to make this all about me, right?

I know. More breeder bigotry.

I love the idea that "one generation should be totally sterilized...then population would be okay!" Well, one generation (50 year population) not producing any children means....tada! no more humans. Of course, that will never happen, but it is a rather silly desire.

There are families with children that consume less than families with 0 children. It depends on how people live their lives. Simply not having kids does not magically make a person better, or consume less.

What it really comes down to is people accepting each others differing desires. You don't want babies? Okay, cool. Better not to have children if you don't want them than have kids you hate because you didn't want them but had them anyway. I'm helping raise my mentally ill sisters kids. Children have so much potential in them. She's crazy and put them down and convinced the boy he was pure evil. Guess what? he struggles deeply with himself and is still has a voice in his head that says, "you are evil. you are worthless. you can't change." Luckily, she abandoned the girl before she rotted her mind, too. Both these kids have changed so much living in an environment that gives them love, structure, stability and expectations.

The moral: kids will respond to their environment. If you gonna hate your kids, please don't have them! Folks, lets be okay with their choice! But, if someone decides to raise kids with love, don't shit on their choice to try and add good people to the world.

" Only 25 percent of Portland homes include kids, and that number is declining. "

That is kinda good news . Tho , we should keep encouraging abortions and pushing families with kids under 12 to the suburbs .

Yeah, I had my first kid right after turning 19 and I only ever wanted one biological child so I wanted to get fixed. Even though I was a singe mother on welfare they refused to do it until I was 27 (or they add your age plus kids). I was married with one more kid and was lucky my husband was 2 years older than me. We went in to get him fixed and did not tell the "good doc that my first kid was not my husband's or it would not have counted towards his age and my husband was just turning 24 so we spent 2 hours in front of a male doctor who kept asking why I couldn't just take this or that birth control. I brought up the failure rates and how neither of us ever want another bio child and that adoption is always an option. I told him I am against any birth control that isn't permanent. I'd rather not die from a stroke or even risk it when I could just be fixed. (there are a LOT of strokes in my family). I also brought up the fact that if I had another child, my marriage would fail (it barely survived kid #2!), all of my kids would suffer because he forced me to have another child by not just fixing my husband. He tried to bring up how he's a good christian and how he's talked with god about how he feels about birth control (abortion was in the mix somewhere). In the end I asked him how god would feel about him tearing up a family and told him my husband would not be getting any sex until he was clipped and my husband agreed. My husband was fixed. I have a friend who is one year older than me and has at least 7 kids! She wanted to be fixed about 4 kids ago and she is stuck with a guy who doesn't love her and sub par living conditions because she can't care for them all on her own.

The only parents who are selfless are the ones who adopt. When you add more people to a crowded world with dwindling natural resources, it's selfish, plain and simple. When you want to parent and realize this and acknowledge your DNA isn't special and doesn't need to be injected into the population and you adopt you are a hero. Reproducing=selfish parenting=/=selfish