EVERYONE'S RUNNING their fool heads around squawking about the end of the world, screaming, "Global warming!" "Shifting tectonic plates!" "Zombies!" "Gluten!" But let's not forget the wise words of renowned cat aficionado T.S. Eliot: "This is the way the world ends/not with a bang, but a whimper." While it's nice to think your demise will be all romantic—full of explosions and car chases—it will most likely be from one of the many petty annoyances that plague your everyday life. BECAUSE THEY ARE INDEED A PLAGUE! Think that hangnail is just some ouchy hindrance to putting on your coat? NO! It could very well catch on the fabric of our society, pulling asunder the world as we know it, its tiny flap of skin tugging the veils from our eyes to cast unerring light on the unknowable depths of fire and brimstone that will consume our faces in a melting screech of terror. Don't even get me started about the Swiffer end times.

For your apocalyptic pleasure, we'd like to present the Mercury's Word Search of Eternal Strife and Never-ending Frustration to Celebrate the Upcoming Banal, Everyday Armageddon That Will Be Our Undoing™. Please have fun in these your final minutes, with the most prosaic of word puzzles, the word search.

The words run in all directions—just like you will when the end comes—forward, backward, up, down, and diagonally.