It's great that you're smart, attractive, and have a great job. It's a bonus that you're really nice and appreciate me for who I am. All that said, it kinda sucks being just a regular dude with a shitty job in the presence of your super-awesomeness. As much as I love you, sometimes I wish I had a ditzy barista girlfriend that would make me feel good about myself. And yes, I will probably get slammed in the comments for this, but it's the truth. It also makes me a jealous dickwad, which is why it's anonymous. Thanks merc!
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.