Dear delusional clown-folk people of Portland who wear floppy pants and still believe 'physical comedy' is a valid form of entertainment: Please find some terrible clown commune far far away from Portland and leave us in peace. CLOWNS SUCK. THE ART IS DEAD. YOU ARE BORING. YOUR COWORKERS DON'T CARE ABOUT IT. You are a pathetic, creepster quasi-pedophile. You cheat on your girlfriends and don't bathe enough because you are a depressed, loser excuse of a human being. Nobody likes balloon animals. You make me feel unfathomable sorrow. Stop it. UGH.