As I was riding down the escalator at my neighborhood Fred Meyer’s on Hawthorne, I noticed you. You seemed like a pretty well-to-do middle-aged woman, with your preppy shirt tucked into your khaki shorts. You walked briskly through the entire store, past the aisles of groceries, and straight through the middle of the produce section to wait by the elevator…with your large, hairy (non-service) dog the entire time?! I thought that seemed pretty brazen, but you didn’t even seem to flinch. Now, I’m a dog-lover and sure, it’d be great to take my pup with me everywhere, but I also realize that not everyone else wants my dog breathing and shedding all over their food — it’s unsanitary! But, what happened next was ridiculous. Apparently, you somehow failed to notice that your precious Fido had just left a trail of large, slimy turds all throughout the produce section. And furthermore, when a few shocked and unhappy patrons pointed it out to you, you seemed irritated and griped as if it wasn’t your problem. You begrudgingly wandered back to the produce section to make a feeble attempt at using the produce bags (that I had just used to bag my apples no less), to wipe up the smeared poop. Gross! Maybe you thought your dog was just too special to be left outside with all the other “hippie” dogs or that you think you are just so special that rules like “no dogs in grocery stores” don’t apply to you? Either way, you are an idiot. I hope that you apologized to the poor employees who had to clean up your dog’s shit and that you never bring Fido into a grocery store ever again.
Produce Aisle Pooper
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