I started reading your magazine when I was about 18. Oh what a glorious world it was, I could be a feminist and still pay attention to what happened on TV! I could learn to dissect messages in a way I'd never thought of. I always found the writing humorous and irreverent. It made me dream of being a pop culture feminist writer too.

(Obviously that never happened.)

And then you moved to Portland. I was so excited! Bitch Magazine in my city! But then, slowly, I realized the Bitch of San Francisco is not the same Bitch of Portland.

Ever wonder why you're constantly on a drive to keep your ever so valuable contribution to society in print? It's because you suck. You hire terrible bloggers with no real insight or qualifications to post. Jezebel has way more talented writers than you. (Mainly because suck attracts suck.)

You screen the shit out of comments that disagree with your authors. Not to mention every single goddamned post is dripping with Portlandia style condescension. One of the beautiful things about Old Bitch was it was accessible and funny. Now you're in the midst of some ridiculous circle schlick that consists of self involved clones.

And wow, Freaks and Geeks had a good female character? What the fuck? Is this 1999? Your time is done. Pack up shop and move the fuck on.

(Here's hoping I, Anonymous picks this up, because lord knows you could give a fuck about what people outside the schlicking circle think.)