This might come as a surprise,and may as well take some glory away from you.Your sense of self worth or competitive accomplishment could be part self-made,part illusion,or maybe u haven't encountered some one which is hardcore,serious as hell,who you might compare forces with.Not your usual boy toy(of your choice),not your usual "dweeb"(wrong word,of your choice),but a reflection which can be seen a couple of years after creation events happened.My friend, who is into all this sorta of mind practicionism(maybe a tradition),is pretty rad.We call him all kind of cool names.And is a goddamn fucking good reflector for all I know.Which may over throw pre-conceptions you had about things and about yourself.He is the sorta guy which can walk any busy street and listen and discern all the sounds,out of practice,and concentrate on each one,at the same time(sounds easy, doesn`t it?)You talk shit in front of him and he doesnt recognize?You can be selfdeluded.Only what this guy does,is differentiates,does something which is natural to him "-His Thing-",and u still believe you where tricking him.Thus making you believe what YOU wanted to believe.& from that seed all which comes forth.It is the other self who sometimes fucks it up and then comes time for him to unfold all those reflective things impressed in your own mind to you.Dharma,Karma.Universe flows,channeling.This is just a small morsel.And sometimes what unfolds out of u is something very much unworthy and unfortunate.Love to All.