Dear ladies: We're all getting older, and with age come certain changes. In my early 20's, I would have quietly (and gladly!) dealt with your condescension, mood-swings, and generally shitty attitude in order to insert my member into your mouth and vagina. However, I've aged (as have you! in case you haven't noticed!) and we are all now in the Autumn of our "still socially acceptable to be single" years, and with this, change must come. I understand the world can be unkind, often to women, and everyone deserves love, but in order to make that tolerable to potential mates, you have to play by the rules. So will all of you who are interested in dating please; have a generally positive outlook on life, laugh, be nice, and not expect me to be interested just because you are a live woman with a functioning uterus. Also, blowjobs (reciprocated, of course) are par for the course in the modern era, so if you're going to be shitty about it, don't play.
The simple fact of the matter is, fucking you is not the incentive it was when we were both 21, with rock-hard bodies, libidos on fire. You may have noticed that I, and many of my successful, balanced male counterparts, are acting accordingly, and fucking coeds. Please feel free to collaborate on your own list of demands, and I am sure the gentlemen of this fair city will gladly oblige, as gentlemen have always done. Thank you.