Dear transplants,

It's fine and dandy that you've got your prerequisite tattoos and buddy holly glasses that will help you to blend in with every other white 20 something Portlander. Crapped out your first child and have decided to move to greener pastures in Oregon. But when you came around the neighborhood informing long time residents that your moving truck will be occupying the street and any cars parked where you don't want them would be towed, I wanted to slap you. Last time I moved in somewhere I was relieved if the spot in front of the house was empty, making the back and forth trudge of boxes less annoying. But I didn't think it was my right to start enforcing traffic control. You look like you could use the exercise parking an extra 20 feet away anyhow. Good luck finding a great school for junior and a living wage job assholes.