This isn't really a rant, more a business proposition for the Mercury staff. So, the Lovelab. Don't tell me you all haven't thought about collating the majority of these and creating a book ala "Stuff White People Like." No one would ever believe that most of 'em weren't made up. Hateful, I know, but could they be any more cliche? Highly doubtful, and my sympathies go out to all those looking for love on the net—-I understand times have changed and whatever, and whatever you all need to do is cool, but goddamn! So trite and corny! Don't try so damn hard! Trust me, you aren't really all that interesting.

That's some comedy gold yr hoarding, Mercury. Let's print it up and share in the wealth.

Though, the window for it may have passed, I know. No worry—-I can still get my daily chuckle reading them! Thanks! And think about it!