Yep. You, inside your cozy home on SE Saint Andrews Drive around 7:30pm Halloween night, handing out your shitty, stuck-up your-ass candy.

It was our 18 month old sons first walking Halloween. I handmade him a "1930's Strong Man" from the circus costume; muscles, belt, leopard leotard, boots, mustache, barbells & all. Hands down, the most creative costume of the night! He was a big hit with every house, except yours.

We walked up your path through your perfectly manicured lawn. Our son knocked on your door. Door opened. Our son said "ticktreeet, ticktreeet". I said "trick or treat". You replied, "OH, God, that's a baby! We don't serve babies at this house!" And then slammed the door on the three of us. TRICK or TREAT… You, are a fucking TRICK.

You are a cold, unhappy, heartless asshole. Go stick your candy up your miserable, tight ass. And, Happy Halloween.