Dearest readers,

My old days of squeeZing one out exclusivley at home via desktop are now far behind me. Having to make sure the blinds are closed and the volume turned down whilst waxing my dolphin to hot scenes is no longer a huge chunk of time lost.

That's right. Now I can polish the bishop on the road as porn now in my pocket and on demand baby!

At work, in the bathroom (thank you locking doors), in your bathroom, my car, the possibilities are endless. I've been spraying my putty all over town ever since, and it's all in high fucking definition!

The best beatoff machine ever made and the best part is I am writing this with it now. Well, gotta go! :)

-sent from my chode choker