I don't usually hate people and so I am shocked about just how much I despise you. I'm not alone. I am pretty sure all of your coworkers hate you too. We don't give a shit that you make great-tasting perogie, we don't give a shit that you were an EMT once and we don't care about your marathons, you arrogant bitch!
You think you are so awesome, oh how wrong you are. You took sick leave to get a new tattoo, you throw hissyfits when you don't get your way and you even bought the same kind of car in some twisted effort to one-up me. I don't care that your biggest problem is that you need to update your iPhone. I don't care that you went to Lewis and Clark, or that you were chummy with the program director. I hate you.
Now that I've quit working at the same agency, if I ever see you again I am going to spit in your face.