I understand that, as an employer, you've got the ideal market. I was thrilled when you accepted my offer to volunteer for a month while you shopped the job market for a new Office Assistant, a position for which I applied. I asked HR when I would be contacted regarding the application, and I was told that no applications would be considered until the post closed January 16th, 4:59 p.m.

Why then, today, January 17th, at 8:15 a.m.(ish),did you bring in the new Office Assistant- less than 24 hours after the job posting was closed- and ask me to leave, but offered me a "position" as a staple-puller. Excuse you?

Your previous Office Assistant wasn't properly vetted and washed out of the position. That's why I WAS THERE. Oh, my work was so appreciated. I dug you out of self-induced clusterfuck FOR FREE, and you didn't even consider my application. Pray tell, how does one consider all applications less than 24 hours after an opening closes? Is it the siren call of the illicit bribe?

Lastly, no, I will NOT be coming every week to pull staples out of documents. If you need that done so fucking badly, you need to hire more employees instead of taking advantage of desperate people in search of work.

I don't know why I wanted to work for you anymore.