I should of know that you had already puked once in the night and were going to do it again. Maybe it was the puke on your shoe and pants. Or maybe it was the fact that you eyes were rolling around in the back of your dome. But I thought for sure no dumbass would get on on the MAX on a busy Friday night after already proving he can't hold his liquor. But you ARE a dumbass. So while crossing the Steel Bridge you projectile vomited onto everyone. Why the fuck did you puke forward into your hands, and not down on the ground? Genius! The people you puked on are amazing because nobody said anything out of being frustrated, angered, or startled by your burrito chunks going everywhere. No really, they went everywhere. So by the time we got to the Rose Quarter we all had to get off because you created a bio hazard. So then everyone had to wait while TriMet brought a new train in, disrupting traffic for the line. You cleared a fucking train! Also you aren't 100% to blame. You had two brilliant friends who were way more sober than you, who didn't think twice about bringing your puking ass on the train. They didn't even flinch at the situation, like this was routine. I know puking on the MAX happens. But for fucks sake if you have already been drunk, puking throughout the night, don't get on the train until you know you are cool to ride. Got it you little poopshit?
Hold Your Liquor Before you Board
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