Hey, brainstem. I don't know why you're even awake at 3:40 in the morning lighting off firecrackers, I'm guessing either you're some punk brat on summer break, or some piece of human excrement on meth. Maybe both. Regardless, it takes a special kind of sociopathic asshole to light off a string of firecrackers in the middle of a residential neighborhood in the wee hours of Monday morning when most people have to go to work. When you returned and lit another string around 4:15, my blood was boiling and I was entertaining violent revenge fantasies.

I don't mind the 4th of July, and fireworks are ok, I guess... I just don't get why it has to be like fucking hillbilly Fallujah outside for at least a week before and after the holiday every year. You're not a patriot, motherfucker, you're a goddamn nuisance!