I've noticed a significant increase in visible face/neck tattoos around Portland lately. Sure, I have a tattoo. On my side. Where it is covered by even the gnarliest bro-tank. Especially covered when I go to work.

But you? No, you have some obscure Kerouac quote etched just under your ear where no amount of high-collared covering would be sufficient. Or a leaf on your cheek/forehead. Listen, guy: we're trying to get our economy back on track and entice businesses to locate here, and there you are outside our Big Important Sales Meeting at Andina looking like you just stepped out of Travis Barker's dream journal.

Clean it up, Portland.