NOTE: I know, no bike rants so in lieu of cyclist, I will use "troll."

Ummm, fuck you trolls that commute on the god damn sidewalks! That's where us WALKERS commute. Yes, I have my ear buds in and can't hear your breathy, mutant voice whisper "on your right" two seconds before you plow me over. Than you have the fucking nerve to get in a fight with me as I'm picking myself, my purse and my nerves off the ground. You're an asshole. We do this at least once a week as I walk to work - this dance of you almost hitting me but today you finally collided with me.
Thanks for making me scratch the hell out of my hand and fall on the ground. I'm a troll at times but I ALWAYS commute in the designated troll lane on the fucking street.
I hope you get herpes and your junk falls off, asshole.