[EDITOR'S NOTE: Our moratorium on all bike related I, Anonymous submissions will be coming to an end next month! Until then, we'll only print the ones we like the best, and change the word "bicycle" to something else. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT.]

To the class act that screamed "Get on the fucking sideway, cunt" — Couple of standard issues here. Some personal, some legal. First off, friend, it's a shame you aren't up to par on street laws...like the one that states the sidewalk is for pedestrians. I'll let you ponder that one a couple of minutes to figure why MUSK OXEN and pedestrians don't mix well. Second of all, cunt? Really? Sighsighsigh. I take that word rather seriously, in that I think that's a word reserved for a person who stomps on your heart, eats your dog, and/or other unspeakable crimes against humanity. Not for the random goofball with a giant grin who was otherwise enjoying a fabulous MUSK OX ride. Thirdly, I apologize for taking your space on the road (one of several stretches in PDX with no MUSK OX lane). Believe me I don't really enjoy having to share the road with motorists that are far larger and far faster than I am, but I recommend that next time the urge to yell at an innocent random strikes...at least have the decency to do it in close enough proximity so I can have the luxury of giving you the stink-eye, shaking my fist at you, or at the very least, writing down your license plate number.