This is definitely not the life I imagined. I bartend and everything I do at work is to make people effing happy! But wtf about me? Bills...mounting. Unpaid medical bills from cervical cancer surgery. Unemployed husband. Potentially autistic son. Now I have swollen lymph nodes in my neck for almost a year. Next step is biopsy, again. Cant pay for my last biopsy and med bills, HOW THE F#@$ CAN I AFFORD MORE?????? No insurance so im pretty much dead anyway, at least to insurance carriers who wont insure me. Im going to be a fu!@#$% statistic. Under or uninsured white female american dies from treatable disease. I feel like I'm reaching to even have a conversation with someone, do I really even care? No sadly, I dont care. About you, anyone in your family, your life, your job, shove it! Seriously, Get it your damn self!!!!!!!! I love you means I hate you, Have a good one means I spit in your drink. When I ask "Hows it going?" I sincerely dont give a shi*! Why? I Don't know.