I was bicycling drunk and ran a red light at Ainsworth and Vancouver right as you were driving into the intersection. The person I was biking with told me you had to stop abruptly, and that I was being totally reckless. I am so sorry if I scared you, or put you in any danger. I am also sorry to all of the responsible bicyclists of Portland, for my personal contribution to the bum rap that we have in this town. I am also also sorry to the person I was biking with, for scaring and embarrassing you simultaneously. From now on, I'm a walking, wheel-less, drunk asshole.