Keep Portland Poopy?


you had me, all the way up to just after this part "You would ask for a recipe. It means stop copying the answers off your neighbor's paper and just be your fucking self" but then you got all weird on me!
It's not Willammete, it's
Another in the long line of post by people who inexplicably care way too much about what other people do with their spare time and money. I suggest that you take a version of your own advice: "stop being upset by the answers on your neighbor's paper and just be your fucking self."
None of your ideas are weird either. It's all highly contrived. Just coming up with ideas that are even more elaborately contrived isn't the trick.

How about this: ask yourself if you would be doing or wearing X,Y, or Z if no one was going to see you. Would you be wearing skintight orange pants and that stupid hat if there weren't another human within 100 miles? Would you tattoo a mustache onto your finger? Would you get any tattoo at all?

If the answer is "no", then you aren't doing any of those things because you are an individual. Quite the opposite.
Who cares? The fake mustache/bacon/bird thing is nothing more than a marketing gimmick. Who ever claimed it was original or "weird"? I see chicks with fake mustaches and bacon-related accessories more often than I don't. It would be weird not to see it, actually. Like some d-bag from Gresham NOT decked-out in head to toe Tapout gear.
Hipster problems...
"Keep ___ weird" isn't even our slogan - we stole it from Austin. Austin, compared to the rest of Texas, is a little weird... in a Portland-normal kind of way.

I prefer San Antonio's slogan: "Keep San Antonio lame."

We keep it lame here. We keep it REAL lame.
I think I love you! Its all very simple. if you look around and everyone looks the same, cept you, ta da, your weird! I find it so amazing, that everyone wearing a hoodie, thinks its "soooo original" or weird or whatever.
I recently overheard two elderly gentlemen talking expressing their worry about the "Hipsters" moving into their neighboorhood, and destroying its normality? I fear the same thing. I wish downtown was the way it was.....
IA bitching and whining and generally having a fit about how other people look - soo original.
Being self conscious of your contrived faux weirdness is very hipster indeed.
moustache tattoos and bacon are hardly associated with portland-- they're pretty much internet memes as far as I'm aware.

the "bird" thing was perhaps one of just a handful of Portlandia jabs that actually stung, but again it's hardly a Portland thing; "crafty" persons have been milking it for years now. OH HEY IT'S A BIRD. What kind? I DON'T KNOW, IT'S CUTE, RIGHT?
Yes Portland, it is time to transcend pedestrian weirdness into creepy weirdness. I implore the citizens of PDX to stand on street corners screaming gibberish at passerbys.
Follow casual stollers for miles grunting and breathing hard. Ask to touch pregnant womens' bellies and then press your ear against their tummies instead.

This IA is a rallying cry!!!!
@blabby, Indeed. It is the ultimate "irony". I know many angry hipsters will now dislike this comment.
^ ironic upvote
Our slogan should be: Don't move here, we're full. Xoxo -Portland.

Also, bitching about hipsters is so generationally provincial. Find something else, I'm fucking bored now.