To the douchebag jaywalking on Hawthorne during rush hour: You sashayed across the street on a red light, and I revved my engine at you (my light had just turned green) as you delayed me on my way to a business that I was trying to reach before they closed. Your response was to hurl your cup of coffee on my car. Notwithstanding the fact that it's a crime to throw anything at a moving vehicle, I look at it this way: You probably spent $5 on your latte. I spent maybe 5 minutes hosing it off my car. I earn a measly $12 per hour, which means that your petulant rage cost you $4 more than it cost me. I hope your lady companion was positively impressed to the tune of $4 or more.