Why is it you must make ridiculous noises? The grunts, sighs, and the most general discomforting noises known. You are guys for one, it's feces. Not a human baby.
I can't help but pay a attention to your shoes during all your grunts. When I see you out of the stall, recovered from your naked poop sitting "surgery", I'm always amazed,
When this happens (usually at Freddie's, new seasons, or restaurants) I'm the guy who pees a little left and splatters it on the floor. Essentially, peeing into your stall and splattering your socks with my pee.
I love it when mid poopin sigh, you go; "hey man, I'm in here" as I wet your little shit study with my urine.

Poop at home. Word 2 yer mum.