Dear Portland Mercury,
I doubt this will make it in, as you probably have thousands of "DPM" to go through but...I hate you.
You are so boring! Your one day at a time used to bring a chuckle to my week, (as long as I skipped that ranting "Klatu" crap), and your I, Anon, used to be funny and quick witted. Are you all just too busy trying to find the best beer, coffee and bacon cupcake to write anything good or choose anything funny anymore? I've always felt that where the WW is an obnoxious Journalism Major, you were it's less productive track-stand doing, drunk ex-boyfriend. But just as those men are (disgusting, full of shit and smell like a stripper) a complete waste of my time, so are you.
Please stop bashing every famous woman on the planet (except for K-Dash WTF), and stop posting I, Anon's that seem to only be about 'dumb' girls either being too sexy or not sexy enough, or about some idiot's neighbor's dog, or about littering and put some more scathing rants about the population! Just because Fred Armison and Carrie Bradshaw (or whatever) are making a buck off us doesn't mean you have to stop! Everybody loves sarcasm, but there is an art to it! Either you've fired all your writers from the last few years, I got sober, or you just can't be bothered to put down the bong long enough to think of something funnier than Lindsay Lohan doing ANYTHING. PUHLEAZE kill yourself, or go back to posting my I Anon's and make this puny town a better place.