Bon Appétit


You live a pitiful existence.
Finally, a post with impeccable grammar and skillful use of hyphens, and even the accent aigu on "appétit"! We appreciate your effort to class up the joint.
If the FDA catches you they will chop off your pee pee. You have been warned
That doesn't make mayonnaise sound any more disgusting than it already does.

Also, the fact that you can get it up and climax in a walk-in cooler without the presence of a half-naked and willing woman in there with you speaks volumes. It distresses me greatly that you're probably not an anomaly in this. "Payload", my ass -- "monkey-squirt" is more like it.

Lastly, while i'm sure things like this actually do happen from time to time, this is fake -- dude just wanted to do to this column what he claims to have done to the cottage cheese.

(Cottage chesse being yet another food, by the way, that can't be made any worse with the addition of ejaculate).
You deserve to be killed for what you do.
So... you're saying that none of us should ever tip anyone in food service again? You've already had your my food. :(
Meh. Not impressed. Now if a girl were to squirt her happy juice into the caesar salad, *that* would be something.
TMC - girls are more likely to put menstrual fluid in the ketchup. Cause we're classy like that.
Fake...please be fake.
I can finally say i swallow now. If I'm ever asked "have you done it?" My answer changes to yes, AND so does little boys and girls you piece of shit, if this is a family place! YOU'RE a fucking Pedophile, if this is the case.

However, I don’t think it is. I think i know what Bar you work at. You posted "fresh Eggnog." Not everyone makes it, and I'm a fucking detective!
Thanks for the extra protein.
This is the fakest shit I have read on here in a while. The smart domestic terrorist would have arrived with the ejaculate already harvested and ready for food-taintin'. Admit it- you and your coworkers like to masturbate in front of each other
Wrong, Todd. You've obviously been seduced by the highfalutin vocabulary this prick has used. Pickup as a single word is, at least strictly grammatically speaking, a noun and conveys the idea of connecting with a desired person for sex. The grammatically correct way of expressing the idea of grabbing something, even in a metaphorical sense as expressed in this I,A, is the phrasal verb pick up (two words).
So the guy who quit last month jerked off into the eggnog, and he replaced another guy who did the same thing. And guess what, you ALSO jerk off into food? So we have at least 3 people at your place of business jerking off into food? Your life must be pure anguish deep down. But don't worry, you'll work your way out of the fast food trenches soon enough.
Dear I,A,

Sometimes mayonnaise isn't just for eating... I hope you end up with a mayo-baby.
So it's come to this? Well, at least there wasn't a hipster, a bicyclist, or Portlandia mentioned. Deduction for being passive aggressive though. Fake (obviously) or not, it's a nice change. I'll give it a C+.
Is your restaurant hiring?
White folks nasty.
I can't think of a restaurant I have been in that has served egg nog and cottage cheese. Must be the salad bar at Shari's? Do they serve this shit at the Acropolis? I... just can't quite put the pieces together here.
DumbosA, I figured it to be a black guy, namely you.
At the PSU cafeteria?
How Hard is it to Time Some Eggs?
Posted by Anonymous on Thu, Mar 7, 2013 at 8:37 AM…

Hold the Chicken