Dear Starbucks Regular Customer,
You are such a beautiful, sweet and warm person. I really enjoy interacting with you. However, I am so distracted by the toxic, burning, nauseating scent that you wear, that it causes me to hold my breath, thus cutting off the oxygen to my brain which results in decreased performance and I am unable to expand to my full potential of customer service and kindness. Again, I know that you are a very nice person and would probably feel terrible if you knew that many people felt this way about the way you smell. I just can’t go on any longer keeping this truth from you. Just remember you are naturally beautiful and you are not enhancing anything by spraying expensive chemicals on yourself. If you like perfume, try pure essential oils, sparingly.

Your Caring Barista