You want to "share the road"? Well, start owning up. You are not in a crosswalk walking your bike, you are a self important hazard on wheels. You want to ride with cars? Fine. Act like one! Wait until its YOUR turn and then GO, like a goddamn car does.
Don't edge forward from a side street to get my attention because you are impatient. I am traveling 30 mph, I will just hit you.
Make your turns/decisions when there are no cars you wimp. Unless you are some hot shit speed demon, stay the fuck away.

I will not fully brake for you, you will get hit, and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.
I will visit you in the hospital and clip this rant to your chart after I eat your puréed meatloaf and poach some of your morphine drip.