1.you are reading this
2.you say you hate hipsters.
3.you respond to this.
4.you claim your mustache growing was before it was hip.
5.you haves neck tattoo(s).
6.you say "I've never heard of that band" when you are a liar.
7.you say " you've never heard this band, have you"?
8.you are poly something
9.you go to wacky random chicken wing frying parties.
10. you display all your misc. keys on your belt.
11.you claim to only like heavy metal.
12. Yeah you, bitch.
13. You have weird butt pants.
14. You are an ex of mine.
15. The word "pony" is a favorite of yours.
16. Not ready for anal.
17. Ready to be called Bi.
18. You move from rental every 4 months.
19. Gauged out and feverishly douching like the jar jar binks
20. You are fat now.
21. Declare that you want to start a laundromat/bar/venue/art space .....