Dear beautiful Pearl girl,

It was just you and I waiting at the NW 10th and Couch streetcar stop. I kindly asked you for the time, you furrowed your brow, lifted your upper lip and turned your back to me without answering. It's ok, as a fat dude I'm used to every female assuming all I want to do is rape them. Got it. I'll just curl up in the corner and be as un-creepy as possible. You lit your cigarette under the the shelter so I casually walked to the end of the platform as cig smoke irritates my lungs, at which point I heard what I can only describe as a condescending giggle mixed with a dramatic sigh from you. Fuck me, right?

Then, as the streetcar arrived and we boarded (I in the rear, you the next door up), we both look to the left and see one single seat there in the back... as I make my way toward it I hear your heels pacing quickly behind me trying to beat me to the seat.. but you weren't quick enough. As I took my comfy seat for the ride up to 23rd, you gave me this look like I'm the worst human being to ever live.

Sorry, 99.9% of the time I'd offer my seat to women, the elderly, etc but don't expect chivalry after treating me like I'm less than human. There's no excuse for your behavior today.

PS Though I don't look it, I have an eye for designer fashion as that's my industry. Nice fake LV bag, pretty good for a knock-off. Really fits you.