Dear ComcastCenturylinkATTVerizonTmobileSprintClear and anyone else I've missed:

- Fuck you for replying to my "I'm not interested in a bundle" with an explanation of your bundles.
- Fuck you for gimmicking up your pricing.
- Fuck you for term contracts.
- Fuck you for your online chatbot suddenly appearing.
- Fuck you for being slimy over a fucking chat session (that takes much more effort than over the phone).
- Fuck you for managing to offer DSL that is slower than a 3G phone (I'm looking at you, Centurylink).
- Fuck you for offering wireless internet that doesn't work in the fucking rain in fucking Oregon (I'm looking at you, Clear).
- Fuck you Comcast for just being Comcast.

And a most hearty fuck you fuck you fuck you to ALL of you for refusing to answer a simple question with a simple answer. It's easier to schedule brain surgery than it is to get a straight answer of how fast is it and how much does it cost. That is COMPLETELY FUCKED UP.

Carry on.