After spending a week back in my home state, I realize I am not looking forward to returning to my adopted home of Portland. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be around people who are open, warm, direct, caring, and genuinely interested in others. Now I get to go back to the aloof, passive-aggressive, cowardly, paranoid, suspicious, xenophobic, closet-racist, elitist, hipster, trashy, sleazy, gentrified redneck pit of despair. I'll be plotting my next escape soon. One can only hope that an earthquake or volcano eventually erases this miserable hole for all eternity.