Ogling that iphone sale? Thinking of getting a screaming hot deal on that thingamajigger at some big box store? Please pause for a moment before you venture forth into the shopping frenzy and ask yourself the following questions.

1. Do I need any of this crap?
2. Would I want to work Midnight to Midnight the day after Thanksgiving (or in some cases, Thanksgiving day)?
3. Am I going to throw a fit if I don't get a door buster gift even if I camp out all night?
4. Do I care about the sanity and safety of those around me?
4. Do I REALLY need any of this crap?

If you answered yes or no to any the above questions, stay the fuck home on Black Friday.

Just a friendly PSA from yet another weary, underpaid, overqualified retail slave for the holiday season.