It's my birthday. I've invited 9 people to a dinner tonight.
My younger brother's girlfriend hears it on the fly and sends me a text, "I would have taken the night off if you would have included us"
Shutthefuckup.
I didn't invite you because, 1) my younger brother is a douche bag and 2) you're a douche bag queen.
I text back, "Duly noted"