Here's to the 20ish year old boy on the bus, in nice black slacks, a nice long sleeve dress shirt, and a tie. I really enjoyed watching you eat your sandwiches today!

As you began to make your homemade sandwiches, as any true sandwich artist does, you used the packets from the mayonnaise and mustard to spread the condiments around. Pretty gifted stuff there. It wasn't enough, so you then used your fingers, and then added Dorito's to the sandwich. I didn't know when this became a delicatessen but pretty ingenious eating your snack and meal at once. It's already known that licking your fingers has been established any time you felt they needed to be cleaned. I watched you take your first bite, crumbs, and chips spilling on the floor. I know, creepy of me. I went about my snow viewing pleasure, and five minutes later that sandwich was about one bite from a goner. Also, I'm so proud of you that you picked up the big crumbs from the floor with your cleanly licked fingers.

You weren't done. You made another sandwich, only this time, the crumbs of the Dorito's to add as an accoutrement. Crumbs still spilling to the floor, you finished both sandwiches in about 10 minutes. Those suckas did not expect to have that kind of day.

An attractive women got on the bus. I looked at her, but you, my friend, wanted to devour her, staring at her for a few minutes at a time. If she only knew what your mouth and fingers had been through, I think it could've been LOVE.