You are one of my least favorite city bureaucrats, and that is saying a lot. Your job is to perform financial and zoning fellatio to pleasure real estate interests.

Here's the deal: I am not usually the fashion police, and I know that punk fashions have lost their edge. At the same time, you need to stop showing up to meetings with Doc Martens and a soul patch. Why? because whatever "cool" means you are clearly the antithesis of cool. On you, the Doc Martens look like the "jack boot of the state."

Same with the soul patch. No precise meaning, but it is all wrong for you. You need to dress like the rest of the soul-sucking bureaucrats in your bureau- drab button down shirts, ugly sweaters. At least your liar of a boss has the good graces to wear unattractive pant suits ala Hillary Clinton and Free Spirit shoes.

Dress the part, douche bag.