I think we here can all agree that the noise made by a Beagle is one of the most annoying sounds in the known universe. So, imagine my surprise when, at 6am on Easter Sunday, my blissful sleep was shattered by a 20 minute long canine aria from my neighbor’s hound. I’m not about to blame the dog, of course. I’m blaming my dowdy, Juggalo bitch neighbor for egging the thing on in her drunken state to entertain her guests. 1.) Who the fuck does that? 2.) What kind of simpleton could possibly tolerate, if not be amused by, the hellish, atonal howl of a Beagle? Answer: trashy, inconsiderate assholes who are shittier pet owners than they are neighbors. Evidenced by the fact that once she was done extracting Hieronymous Bosch-style aural torture out of her dog, I watched her from my window as she launched her stumbly-drunk, frumpy, shapeless doughball of a body into her chickens to startle *them* into making annoying noises. It’s one thing to stay up all night getting wrecked having ugly-people parties in your dirty house, but please cool it on the grey-area animal abuse.
Some People Should Not be Allowed to Own Animals
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