I am an alcoholic, who drinks at least six beers a night after work, sometimes more on my days off. Since I don't need the money that badly, I have for many years been leaving copious amounts of refundable bottles out in my little yellow glass-recycling bin, knowing that someone needier than myself will pick them up and return them. I feel this is a good deal for everyone concerned. I even go out of my way to do this several times on the day before recycling day, and to engage bottle gatherers so that we may continue our symbiotic relationship. But since I moved to a new neighborhood six months ago, my yellow bin has been stolen. Twice. The city will not give me a new one, so I no longer have the means to provide you with the bottle refunds that are your livelihood. How fucking stupid can you be? You will never again receive any bottles from me, Ever. I will go to the trouble to take them in myself, even though I don't need the money. And when I see you trolling my 'hood for bottles, I WILL call you out. I have no more sympathy for you. Get a job, you fucking moron. Even a drunk like me can achieve that much.
You Lose, Bottle Bandits!
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