TO WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY: Your perspective on the Francesconi "issue" is unfair and intellectually dishonest ["Look Who Unzipped Francesconi's Lip," March 13]. He believes that the anti-war resolution is both a waste of time, and more importantly, not within the proper scope of the city council's business.

Under your logic, the city council could be urged to debate virtually any policy undertaken by our federal government, state government, the United Nations and, in many cases, any country on earth. All routinely make decisions that impact Portland in manners that are identical to those you seem to think were so brilliantly and doggedly pursued by Kenan [the winner of the "Unzip Francesconi's Lip" contest].

Congrats on your and the Mercury's willingness to expose hypocrisy and impropriety in public and private affairs. The irreverence and immature acidity of these endeavors are what make the Mercury so endearing and hilarious, yet poignantly on point. I think you missed the boat on this one, though, and are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Your time would be better spent asking the city why it is rabidly enforcing a long-ignored law against parking in the wrong direction on city streets. In the last week, police have issued $25 tickets in residential neighborhoods in NE and SE Portland. I personally observed a cop driving slowly along NE 19th Monday at about 11:30pm. Tuesday morning, there were 5-10 cars with tickets.

MH

GOT TIME TO LEAN, GOT TIME TO CLEAN

TO THE EDITOR: Thank you Mercury for unabashedly pursuing this issue with Jim Francesconi's office. What we all should point out to Mr. Harrison [Francesconi's mouthpiece] is that if Mr. Francesconi would have voted FOR the anti-war resolution then, as Mr. Harrison put it, he would have had time to work on local transportation issues, like pedestrian safety, etc. Maybe then Jim wouldn't have been "distracted" from other city issues.

Karen Southerland

SHOW MOORE MORE RESPECT!

TO THE MERCURY: I thought last week's "I'm Staying Home" video box regarding Julianne Moore's "goodies" was pretty fucked ["Show More Moore," Jonathan Mahalak, March 13]. And by "fucked" I mean unbelievably chauvinist, idiotic, and the kind of sleazy that makes my own goodies shrink in disgust. It instantly made me think of this article "The Return of the Pig" in this month's Atlantic Monthly, which points out that in an age of Hooters, Joe Millionaire, Lara Croft, and Maxim, male chauvinism is making a huge comeback to this bizarre degree as if feminism never even happened. As far as "Show More Moore" goes, even if Mr. Mahalak had written the same box about Heather Graham or some other actress whose whole career is based on T&A, it would still be sleazy. But the fact that it's about Julianne Moore, who is a really talented and sophisticated actress, is totally fucked.

The worst part is that chauvinism article is able to flourish because it's suddenly cool to be massively sexist as long as you're ironically aware of it. What sucks is that Mr. Mahalak is the cool guy, and I'm the square for voicing this opinion. In conclusion, if not an apology, after this I think the Mercury owes Julianne Moore some kind of display of respect. Some kind of acknowledgement of her real goodies.

Jay

ROOSEVELT SENIORS SUPPORT NORTH KOREA?

DEAR MERCURY: I read the article "High School Seniors Volunteer To 'Handle' North Korean Crisis" [Richard L. Smith, March 13] and frankly I was a little confused by it. I go to Roosevelt High School [the school in question], and can't remember any people saying they were going to "handle" this situation, during any of our assemblies. Now I do have some explanations to this little confusion.

1) I fell asleep during that part of the assembly. 2) You guys are talking about another unheard-of Roosevelt that mystically appeared. 3) You guys got a bullshit of a story--because Mike Hardaway and Matt Deason don't attend Roosevelt. 4) Maybe reporter Richard Smith felt like making up a dumb story like this so he could paint his and his friend's ass and show it off in this article.

Rachel

IF THERE'S ANYTHING we love more than letters from prison, it's letters from high school students. And for being true to her school, Rachel wins the Mercury "Letter of the Week" and free tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater. And because we're feeling especially generous, all of our printed letter-writers will receive two free tickets to see The Vines this Thursday at the Roseland Theater. Congrats to all! Mmmmm-wah!!