DEAR YUPPIE SCUMBAGS

TO RACHEL AND DENNIS, who hate suburbanites coming into the Pearl District [Letters, Sept 8]. Fuck you two yuppie scumbags. Based on your letter, it is obvious that the suburbs don't hold the patent on obnoxious people.

While some in Beaverton live in McMansions, you live in a McCondo, dumbfuck. If there are more soulless buildings in Portland, I've yet to see them. Your island of concentrated wealth and tax abatement are nothing more than a suburb within the city. A homogenous group of people with similar ideologies, income, and race.

Finally you state that it takes much less in terms of resources to live in a multi-unit dwelling than a house in Beaverton?! What the fuck are you talking about, douchebag? You don't even cite a shred of evidence to support such a retarded claim.

I hope someday you walk down my street in Beaverton. I'll do my best to make you feel at home. I'll shit in the street and drink 40 ouncers wrapped in paper bags. Then I'll hit you up for money. Cunts.

Ian of the Beaverton

LET'S NOT MAKE A DATE

DEAR EDITOR: In Eli Sanders' profile on Lynn Bradach, mother of an American soldier slain in Iraq ["Mourning in America," Sept 15], Sanders writes that "[Bradach's] message will be simple: We need a timetable for withdrawal, a plan to stop the loss of American lives."

If you're looking for an exact date and time, you misunderstand what's going on. The withdrawal from the Iraqi conflict will commence when there are enough police officers and other peacekeepers trained so the Iraqis can keep the peace by themselves. American troops will start disappearing from Iraq once the ultra-fanatic and violent Iraqi insurgents begin disappearing, and the existing Iraqi police are no longer outgunned and outnumbered.

Agree with our reasons for going in or not, lies or no lies, WMD or no WMD, yellowcake uranium or no yellowcake uranium, you don't abandon Iraqi peacekeepers and the Iraqi people before they are trained to protect themselves. If the Americans suddenly announced they were leaving on an exact date in the future, the insurgents would simply hide until that date, and come out of the woodwork in a grand violent fiesta that would require international intervention all over again. That's why you'll never see exact dates and times. So if you're looking for 'em, you ain't gonna get 'em.

Name withheld because I don't want misguided lefties calling my house again at 1 am like they did last time. Yes, they did.

WHAT IS THIS PERSON TALKING ABOUT?!?

TO THE MERCURY: Although your words seem very convincing i dont think you have a son or daughter runing around listening to this filth. You see my aunt keri whom i love dearly has a six-teen year old son who is now serving his third year as a junior and is affecting the lives of my family! he has sluts hangong around our neighborhood and hes on drugs, hes very violent and to be honest my aunt has just gotten over breast cancer wich its a miracle that she survived and hes only gotten worse. iam so supprised that no one has tried to kill the kid and that my aunt hasnot popped a few pills or killed herself yet. dont get me wrpong she is very strong but i cant help wanna wring his neck becaus of this! never in my life have i heard sick twisted phsycotic music! who the hell allows this to even play on the radio o r even be listened to? you defenitly need to get your proiorities straight.

kristin

CONGRATULATIONS TO KRISTIN for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week." Though we have no idea what musical act she's talking about, she sounds very upset and could probably use two tickets to the Laurelhurst, a $30 dinner at No Fish! Go Fish!, and two tickets to see Street Dogs (a fine, young group of Christian musicians*) at the Hawthorne Theatre on November 17.

*Not really... they're a punk group. But they're nice!