Opening This Week

Max
In past shows, Toad City has flirted with something brilliant without quite bedding it, though regardless, has always been fun to watch. Tonight they present a new play by Gunter Grass, about a militant activist bent on torching his own cute little dachshund as a form of protest. Now that's what we call a HOT DOG! KER-POW!! Toad City Productions, at the Back Door, 4321 SE Hawthorne, 736-1027, Opens Fri, runs Thurs-Sat 8 pm, through April 24, $10-12

The Big Bad Wolf (and how he got that way)
A funny sounding psychoanalytical portrayal of the wolf from "Little Red Riding Hood" and the "The Three Little Pigs." Allegedly it's the same fellow in both tales, and he's actually a victim of those evil hogs and that bratty little girl, instead of the other way around. Northwest Children's Theater, 1819 NW Everett St, 222-4480, March 20-21, 23-28 @ 2 pm, $8-10

* The Drawer Boy
ART has done little to tout this new play, but it stars William Hurt!! I mean, I know he's not Tom Cruise or anything, but the dude's been in a shitload of awesome movies, and he won an Oscar. Doesn't anyone else besides me think that's a big deal? There hasn't been a bigger Hollywood star wandering the city streets since Benicio! Oh, and the play's about Canadian farmers or something. William freaking Hurt! Artists Repertory Theatre, 1516 SW Alder St, 241-1278, Opens Fri, runs Wed-Thurs, Sun 7 pm, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sat-Sun 2 pm, through April 25, $20-45

One Week Only

* Just Askin', the Curiosity Plays
As part of its outreach programs to underprivileged children, the always cool Haven project presents an evening of nine plays written by nine little kids. Thing is, this event features the absolute biggest actors in Portland, and we're not just saying that. On the bill: Andres Alcala, Dennis Bigelow, Scott Coopwood, Andrew Harris, Ted Roisum, Tim True, Luisa Sermol, and more. Those kids must be something special, because this is far and away the most all-star lineup we've ever seen at a Portland theatrical event. The Haven Project, at the Newmark Theatre, SW Broadway & Main, 872-9635, Mon 7:30 pm, FREE

Starlight Express
From Andrew Lloyd Weber, the man who created the world's worst musical about singing cats, comes the world's worst musical about toy trains that come to life as humans on roller skates. Take drugs. Take many, many drugs. Broadway in Portland, at Keller Auditorium, SW Third and Clay, 790-ARTS, March 23-27 @ 7:30 pm, March 27 @ 2 pm, March 28 @ 1 & 6:30 pm, $20-59

Closing This Week

* Edward II
Where Shakespeare plays dress-up in charming, gender-bending comedies, Marlowe shrugs off cuteness in his portrayal of homoeroticism. Triangle director Andres Alcala doesn't need to take a revisionist slant or inject contemporary adaptation into Edward II--all of the full-frontal lust, homophobia, and political violence is right there in the original script. Alcala, along with production designer Don Horn, have made the play into a stripped-down, teeth-grinding head rush, a play that's less about passion than it is about cruel hatred. TP Triangle Productions, at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 239-5919, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through March 20, $17-23

Current Runs

* Sneaky Little Armageddons
Eva Nicely (Firiel Galloway) lives inside a tiny, agoraphobic world--the world of a shut-in, kept company only by the whirling neurosis of her mind. When Eva speaks it feels at first like a monologue to the audience, until one realizes that Eva is simply talking to herself. When she writes letters, she only writes to the dearly departed; letters to the dead that are never sent, and never read. One day, Eva impulsively advertises for a border in her home. Enter Annelle and Dave, prospective tenants who completely shatter Eva's tea-supping convalescence. This original play by Fever Theater is an elegant example of Portland's potential for great, thoughtful works of collaboration. TP Fever Theater at the B & O Warehouse, 107 SE Washington, 233-4420, Thurs-Sun 8 pm, through March 28, $10-15 sliding scale

Comedy/Improv

* Eight-Year Anniversary Bash
The Brody celebrates eight years of quality improv with music, food, and performances from the all-female troupe Girls! Girls! Girls! Call for reservations. Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th Ave, 224-0688, Fri-Sat 7-11 pm, $20

Improv
Brainwaves does improv comedy, so if you like that sort of thing, you should come. Bring a prop for them to play with and get a $3 discount at the door. Brainwaves at the Electric Company, 2512 SE Gladstone, 796-9550, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, $12-15

* The 3rd Floor's Dollar Days
The 3rd Floor offers its usual stellar lineup of hilarious performers doing sketch comedy, with two intriguing new additions: Deanna Wells (good all-around actor) and crazy, hot radio personality Daria O'Neill. YOWZA! The 3rd Floor, at the Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark, 258-1681, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through March 27, $10