Opening This Week

Ardiente Paciencia
Teatro Milagro (the Miracle Theatre) presents a Spanish-language production of Ardiente Paciencia (Burning Patience), a play based on the book-turned-movie Il Postino. English subtitles provided on Thursdays and Sundays. The Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark, 258-1681, opens Fri, runs Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 2 pm, $14-18

One Week Only

Takes One to Know Four
In lieu of an upcoming "extended journey to the concrete jowls of New York City," the inimitable Amber Martin presents an evening of a bunch of her cool friends performing cool shit. Friends include House of Cunt-ers Pam Carsten and Kaetlin Kennedy, Sissyboy's Lee Kyle, and musician/performance artist/rad lady Sarah Dougher. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi, 288-3231, Sat 9 pm, $10-15

Closing This Week

Crowns
PCS presents Regina Taylor's popular gospel-infused musical, based on the book Crowns: Portraits of Black Women in Church Hats, by Michael Cunningham and Craig Marberry. Portland Center Stage, PCPA Building, 1111 SW Broadway, 274-6588, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sat-Sun 2 pm, Sun 7 pm, ends April 9, $15-56

Dr. Kheal & Red Burning Light
Thanks to the Reed College kiddies for bringing us two one-acts from the fantastic Maria Irene Fornes: Dr. Kheal, a one-person mock academic lecture; and Red Burning Light, an ever-pertinent skewering of Western militarism through Broadway-style show tunes and dance numbers. Reed College, Theatre Mainstage, 3203 SE Woodstock, 777-7755, Fri-Sat 7:30 pm, $5

Current Runs

Cirque Du Soleil: Varekai
Colorful, fantastical costumes abound at Cirque Du Soleil's latest, filling out the seams of what amounts to basically a series of acrobatic stunts that will thrill you, delight you, and at times, terrify you. Like the amazing closing number, wherein a squadron of red warrior types mount giant swinging platforms that hurl them through the air at dizzying heights. Or the twin eagle-looking dudes that soar over the audience, twisting and writhing as they grip bungee cords with one hand, and one hand only. JWS The Grand Chapiteau (a big blue and yellow tent), 2750 SW Moody, 1-800-678-5440, Tues-Sat 8 pm, Fri-Sat 4 pm, Sun 1 & 5 pm, $35-129.50

Celebrity Row
PCS presents a new work by Itamar Moses, a hypothesis of what might transpire were four of the world's most notorious death row inmates—Ted Kaczynski, Timothy McVeigh, Luis Felipe, and Ramzi Yousef—given one hour to talk with each other each day. Portland Center Stage, PCPA Building, 1111 SW Broadway, 274-6588, Tues-Wed, Sun 7 pm, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Thurs 12 pm, Sat-Sun 2 pm

Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?
Stephen Lisk presents a new one-man show directed by Victoria Parker. Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne, 230-2090, Fri-Sat 10:30 pm, $10

Frozen
ART presents Bryony Lavery's acclaimed play about a violent criminal, the psychologist who tries to understand him, and the mother of one of his victims who is compelled to meet him face to face. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1516 SW Alder, 241-1278, Tues-Wed, Sun 7 pm, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sat-Sun 2 pm, $15-40

The Full Monty
Pixie Dust Productions presents a production of this overrated musical about ugly male strippers. World Trade Center Auditorium, 121 SW Salmon, 624-0403, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, $33-35

The War Project
According to Sojourn's program, The War Project is based on a year's worth of research, workshops, and interviews conducted on the topic of war. The resulting production is no simple series of vignettes, however, nor is it the monument to liberal guilt that I half expected. Rather, it's a nuanced, postmodern exploration of how human beings rationalize killing other human beings. The cast cycles through several scenarios: two friends playing ping pong, a woman demonstrating the best way to kill a man, the owner of a battle-game emporium sending his son off to war, high-energy parodies of war movies, and slow-motion battle sequences. Through it all, the ensemble makes it clear that they are struggling to find a way to tell the "war story" that neither trivializes nor polarizes the issues involved. AH Sojourn Space, 215 SE 9th, 228-7231, Thurs-Fri 8 pm, Sat-Sun 7 pm, Sat 10 pm, $10-15

The Water Principle
In Sowelu's production of The Water Principle, Deirdre Atkinson plays Addie, the lone occupant of a cabin in a desolate rural landscape. Eliza Anderson's script hails from the Beckett school of minimalism. The setting is grim and dreamlike, the characters in a kind of self-prescribed purgatory. We call this surrealism; its confrontational ambiguity needs to be battled with the guns of purpose, but Sowelu's cast, as directed by Barry Hunt, hasn't done their homework. As the male points of Addie's nightmarish romantic triangle, Daniel Hill and Michael Fetters are showoffs; Fetters, a goofball who pinballs to and fro and waggles his tongue around; Hill, a wiseass in love with his own stilted, obnoxious delivery. Meanwhile, the starving, filthy Atkinson gives a sublimely controlled, quietly desperate, strangely sexy performance. JWS Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne, 230-2090, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, Sun 4 pm, $8-15

Zaney
The Arts Equity company in the 'Couve presents the premiere of Quintessence honcho Connor Kerns' new play, Zaney, a backstage farce of "lust, need, melodrama, wit, passion, [and] humor." Nothing better than a little need to get you through the week. Main Street Theatre, 606 Main Street, Vancouver, (360) 695-3770, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat 8 pm, Sun 7 pm

Dance

Mozart Now and Then
Classical dance fans, this is for you: an evening of great Mozart music, played by the Oregon Symphony String Quartet, with lovely choreography from the Agnieszka Laska Dancers Newmark Theater, the PCPA Building, 1111 SW Broadway, 224-4400, Wed 8 pm, $15-30

Comedy/Improv

Incrimi-Nation
A fun one from the Brody improv labs: an audience member gets interviewed, their innocent story subsequently transformed into a gritty, ruthless improvised tale "of cop and courtroom." Brody Theater, 1904 NW 27th, 224-0688, Sat 8 pm, $7-10