A fan of David Sedaris, bitter holiday humor, and/or low-interaction family-friendly activities? Portland Center Stage has generously offered two pairs of tickets to The Santaland Diaries, opening this weekend. For the second year in a row, Wade McCollum tackles the role of Crumpet the Elf; last year, I wrote of the show:

Before Storm Large became the hottest ticket in town, Wade McCollum was the darling of the Portland theater scene. Currently based in New York, the actor is back on his home turf for this adaptation of David Sedaris' "Santaland Diaries," an acerbic story about a stint working as an extremely grumpy elf at a mall Santaland. The story is a holiday staple for people who like to pretend they hate the holidays. This adaptation is conversational and funny, as McCollum takes the audience backstage at a high-volume Christmas village, impersonating by turns the other elves he works with and the parents, children, and semi-retarded adults who come to see Santa. As Crumpet, McCollum lacks a certain edge—he's not quite as bitter as he really should be, considering that his work uniform involves candy cane-striped tights. But as soon as he takes on the role of a too-enthusiastic boss, or a cock-teasing fellow elf, it's clear why he was cast—each of the characters he impersonates is distinct, fully realized, and hilarious. AH

For a shot at winning a pair of tickets, tell us about your worst holiday job in the comments. I'll pick a winner by 3 pm today.