Article Archive
Thu, Sep 23, 2021

Hate Being the "Last to Know"? Here's an Easy-Breezy Solution!

by Mercury Promotions
Wed, Jul 28, 2021

Hate Being the "Last to Know"? Here's an Easy-Breezy Solution!

by Mercury Promotions
Mon, Mar 29, 2021

Good Afternoon, News: Derek Chauvin Trial Begins, Nike Sues Over "Satan's Shoes," and CDC Predicts "Impending Doom"

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Mon, Oct 26, 2020

Good Afternoon, News: Election Night Emergency Plan, Jared's Advice to Black People, and GOP Dares Dems to Steal Back Supreme Court

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Mon, Aug 3, 2020

Good Afternoon, News: Chief Pens "Copaganda" for NYT, Beyoncé is Back, and Trump Flip-Flops on TikTok

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Wed, Jul 29, 2020

Good Morning, News: Abusive Fed Officers to Leave Courthouse, Joe Biden's Pick Coming Soon, and Trump Vows to "Clean Out" Portland

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, Jul 21, 2020

Good Afternoon, News: Wall of Moms (and Dads), Trump Caves on COVID, and Creepy Chad Doubles Down on Portland Protests

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Wed, Jun 17, 2020

Good Morning, News: Marchers Take Fremont Bridge, Police Budget Battle Today, and COVID-19 Skyrockets

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Mon, Jun 8, 2020

Good Morning, News: An Eventful Protest Weekend, Minneapolis Dismantles Police, and Congress Takes Action (in Costume?)

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Fri, May 29, 2020

Good Morning, News: Trump Encourages the Shooting of Protesters, CNN Crew Arrested, Police Station Ablaze... Oh, and COVID-19, Too!

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Wed, May 27, 2020

Good Morning, News: Fake Ass Christians, an "Evictions Avalanche," and Twitter Tests Trump

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, May 26, 2020

Good Morning, News: Clackamas Reopens, Biden Wears Mask, and Portland Runoffs Begin

by Blair Stenvick
Fri, May 22, 2020

Good Morning, News: Memorial Weekend Warning, "Petulant Child" Trump, and a Sad Bear on the Loose

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, May 21, 2020

Good Morning, News: Portland Elections Result in Runoffs, Oregon Revenue Forecast Sucks, and What's the Deal With Meat?

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, May 20, 2020

Good Morning, News: Trump vs. Vote by Mail, Promising Vaccine News, and Surprising Election Night Results

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, May 19, 2020

Good Morning, News: Brown's COVID-19 Restrictions Challenged, Wheeler Fined for Campaign Violation, and It's Time to Vote!

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, May 18, 2020

Good Morning, News: A Potential COVID Vaccine, Obama Speaks Out, and Happy Explosion Anniversary, Mount St. Helens!

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Fri, May 15, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregon Reopens (Sorta), Death Row Closes, and More Events Cancelled

by Alex Zielinski
Thu, May 14, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregon Counties Reopening, Zenith Scraps Portland Pipeline Plan, and There's a New Giraffe in Town

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, May 13, 2020

Good Morning, News: Strong Warnings from Fed Reserve & Fauci, Portland Salon Sues Governor, and Kushner Denies Evil Plan

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, May 12, 2020

Good Morning, News: More Portland Campaign Finance Drama, Fauci Warns of Reopening Too Soon, and Quibi Isn't Doing So Well!

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, May 11, 2020

Good Morning, News: DOJ Asked to Investigate Arbery Case, and Oregon Counties Ask to Reopen, and RIP Little Richard

by Alex Zielinski
Fri, May 8, 2020

Good Morning, News: State Reopening Plan Explained, Great Depression-Level Unemployment, and So-Called "Christians" Sue Governor

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, May 7, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregon's First COVID-19 Patient Recovers, Trump Rejects CDC's Reopen Guidelines, and You Should Take a Walk Today

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, May 6, 2020

Smooth-Brained Reality TV Is Here to Stay

by Jasmyne Keimig
Wed, May 6, 2020

Good Morning, News: Rich Neighborhoods Escape COVID, Unemployment Blues, and Trump Is Okay With You Dying

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, May 5, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregon Lawmaker Faces Harassment Allegations, and the Post-Pandemic Future of an Iconic Portland Restaurant

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, May 4, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregonians Protest COVID-19 Shutdowns, Native Americans Sue Feds, and Trump Blames China for Everything

by Alex Zielinski
Fri, May 1, 2020

Good Morning, News: Armed Michigan Terrorists Lose, a May Day Strike, and Biden Addresses Sexual Assault Charge

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, Apr 30, 2020

Good Morning, News: 30 Million Unemployed Because of COVID-19, How to Not Pay Your Rent, and a Sexy New Sextant

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, Apr 29, 2020

Good Morning, News: Pence Too Sexy for His Mask, a Second Round of COVID, and YAY! The Mercury's Endorsements are Here!

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, Apr 28, 2020

Good Morning, News: COVID-19 Testing Capacity Is Still Uncertain, Low-Income Portlanders Need Help, and Wildfire Season Is Coming

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, Apr 27, 2020

Good Morning, News: Anti-Government Protests in Wisconsin, Kim Jong-un is MIA, and Mayor Wheeler Gives in to Donation Limits

by Alex Zielinski
Fri, Apr 24, 2020

Good Morning, News: New Oregon Relief Package, Georgia Reopens, and Guess We Have to Say It: DON'T DRINK LYSOL

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, Apr 23, 2020

Good Morning, News: Portland Whole Foods Employee Dies From COVID-19, and Gov. Brown to Allow Some Non-Essential Surgeries

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, Apr 22, 2020

Good Morning, News: Happy Earth Day, a Deadlier Second Wave of COVID, and Trump Wants to "Shoot Down" Boats

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, Apr 21, 2020

Good Morning, News: Portland Elections During COVID-19, Some States Are Reopening, and Trump Threatens to Suspend Immigration

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, Apr 20, 2020

Good Morning, News: Washington Protests Shutdowns, Israel Protests Corruption, and Small Businesses Wait for Relief

by Alex Zielinski
Fri, Apr 17, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregon Makes Big Unemployment Change, Right Wingers Protest COVID Orders, and Portland's Biggest Hairball

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, Apr 16, 2020

Good Morning, News: PPP Runs Out of Money, Oregonian Reduces Staff Salaries, and Some Good News About Apples!

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, Apr 15, 2020

Good Morning, News: Brown Announces "Reopen" Plan, Trump Betrays WHO, and Scary Retail News

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, Apr 14, 2020

Good Morning, News: West Coast Unites, Trump Goes Full Propaganda, and Low Turnout for Wisconsin's Pandemic Primary

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, Apr 13, 2020

Good Morning, News: Portland to Open Homeless Camps, Oregon Shares Grim Nursing Home Data, and Six More Weeks Inside?

by Alex Zielinski
Fri, Apr 10, 2020

Good Morning, News: County Extends Eviction Moratorium, Immunity Tests on the Way, and Republicans are America's Greatest Health Danger

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, Apr 9, 2020

Good Morning, News: PNW Prisoners Protest, Millions More File for Unemployment, and Government Sex Tips

by Blair Stenvick
Wed, Apr 8, 2020

Good Morning, News: Bernie Drops Out, Global Condom Shortage, and New Poll Signals Bad News for Trump

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Tue, Apr 7, 2020

Good Morning, News: Wisconsin's Pandemic Primary, Oregon's Record Gun Sales, and Fred Meyer's New Capacity Limits

by Blair Stenvick
Mon, Apr 6, 2020

Good Morning, News: Trump Spreads COVID-19 Misinformation, Gov. Brown Shares Ventilators, and Oregon Prisoners Speak Out

by Alex Zielinski
Fri, Apr 3, 2020

Good Morning, News: Oregon Health Experts "Cautiously Optimistic," Local Landlords Push Back, and UGH! JARED KUSHNER.

by Wm. Steven Humphrey
Thu, Apr 2, 2020

Good Morning, News: Brown Bans Commercial Evictions, Global COVID-19 Cases Near One Million, and a Farewell to Adam Schlesinger

by Blair Stenvick
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