Some people like the "natural" look. NOT THIS GUY.

Dear Portland: stop it. Just stop it. Stop it with the no-makeup, natural hair, thrift store clothes that make you look like Fantastic Mr. Fox... Stop it with the beards, the ill-fitting tight suits, and looking like a fresh-faced 3rd grade teacher from 1983.... I'm sick of feeling like I live in a Wes Anderson movie every friggin' time I walk out my front door, ok?

You gotta admit that "Fantastic Mr. Fox" line is pretty good. Read the rest here, and if you agree or disagree with his statements, let him know in the comments! And while you're there? Drop off your own submission in Wes Anderson's favorite Portland-based rant blog, the I, Anonymous Blog!